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ENTRY

To be or not to be
June 10, 2008

I rarely obsess about grammer or style. I tend to write away, listening to the sound of the words and phrasing. Not that I write horridly ungrammatical and tangled sentences (not usually), my writing leans toward the simple and active. But lately as I write a first draft of a new novel, I think a lot about the necessity of using "to be" and its forms.

For example, I wrote: "While Mutter snapped photos of the action, the forklift operator bent over and straightened up without effort. The prosaic, adept maneuver of a man in no pain." Usually, I write "It was the prosiac ..." Of course, using "It was" makes the construction a complete sentence rather than a phrase. But I doubt readers miss the "It was," their minds automatically fill in the reference back to the action performed. Or I could use a comma connecting the phrase to the sentence. But that construction changes the sound and the impact of the separate phrase.

You've probably heard of E-Prime--the movement to eliminate using "to be" forms in writing. For example, the E-Prime writer changes "The food wasn't very good." to "I didn't like the food." The change makes the writing more active and eliminates ambiguity as to the agent of the action. I try to use E-Prime rules (introductory Wikipedia article), reducing "to be" instances as much as possible. For example, I wrote this blog entry in E-Prime. I find writing in E-Prime more difficult, but ultimately readers should find the writing more readable and enjoyable.

I think therefore I, er, exist.

#

© 2013

COMMENTS

Number of comments: 6
click here to add a comment

Jean Hanson
What a great post, Todd. I recently read The Shipping News--yes, for the first time! And was quite taken by Proulx's use of this phrase technique rather than "to be" sentencing. And---hi Todd! Writers in Fort Collins miss you--including this one, who thinks of you often but is lousy at staying in touch. Looking forward to your next book. Jean.

Todd
Thanks, Jean. I have to admit I haven't read Shipping News yet, although I did see the movie. That's pretty rare for me to do it in that order. But now I'll have to find a copy. And thanks for the personal note, too. I often think of you and the great friends and writers in Fort Collins, especially on Tuesday nights!

Teresa Funke
An, the Shipping News is one of my FAVORITE books and partly because I was amazed at her writing technique in that book and how she was able to do it consistently. You'll have to read it, Todd.

Jo Reed
OKay, sure, tight/active sentences, but this e-prime stuff is one big gimmick if you ask me. Nothing *really* wrong with "be" is there?

Lee Witte
I don't think it's a gimmick, and I think the point's well taken that we get sloppy with our work choice and sentence construction. PLus we're talking about $creative$ writing here. Artful writing. So be(!) at least a little more artful.

Jo Reed
You should say "So write a little more artfully."

ARCHIVE

date (comments)

Review: Paprika
April 21, 2013 (3)

Review: A Straight Road With 99 Curves
March 30, 2013 (1)

Gripping writing
Feb. 28, 2013 (2)

Review: Salvation of a Saint
January 19, 2013 (2)

2012 in review
December 30, 2012 (2)

Review: Ninja
September 30, 2012 (2)

Review: My Postwar Life
August 21, 2012 (1)

New interview with Colin Marshall
July 15, 2012 (3)

Book events
April 25, 2012 (2)

Subduction
March 14, 2012 (8)

Review: A Room Where the Star Spangled Banner Cannot Be Heard
January 14, 2012 (1)

Review: Plainsong
December 20, 2011 (3)

Review: The Devil's Disciple
November 29, 2011 (2)

Haruki Murakami
October 5, 2011 (2)

Busyness and demons
September 25, 2011 (2)

Characters: The Bully
July 30, 2011 (3)

Review: Manazuru
June 28, 2011 (2)

Deadlines!
June 24, 2011 (2)

Review: Butterfly's Sisters
May 18, 2011 (1)

Review: Isle of Dreams
April 20, 2011 (2)

Cades Award for Literature press release
April 12, 2011 (2)

Japan and other news
March 29, 2011 (1)

Borders bankruptcy
February 17, 2011 (2)

2010 review
December 17, 2010 (6)

Congratulations Mario Vargas Llosa
October 7, 2010 (2)

OH! wins best book award
September 23, 2010 (2)

Review: Kissing the Mask
August 22, 2010 (1)

Jonathan Lethem: Writing at the margins
July 12, 2010 (2)

Review: Love in Translation
June 22, 2010 (3)

Jose Saramago
June 18, 2010 (0)

Marketplace of Ideas interview
June 11, 2010 (2)

Imagining Memory
May 6, 2010 (1)

Upcoming Los Angeles events
April 7, 2010 (2)

Time and energy
March 30, 2010 (2)

Review: Botchan
February 28, 2010 (2)

J.D. Salinger
January 28, 2010 (1)

2009 Reviewed
December 31, 2009 (5)

Review: The Word Book
December 12, 2009 (1)

Chaat and Chat event with OH!
November 6, 2009 (2)

Home at last
November 2, 2009 (2)

Los Angeles events
October 17, 2009 (1)

Poets and poetry
October 7, 2009 (1)

Time + place
September 24, 2009 (1)

The future of books
September 23, 2009 (1)

October book tour
September 6, 2009 (1)

Blogging at Powell's Books
August 28, 2009 (2)

The evolution of an idea
August 3, 2009 (1)

The Poetics of Motoori Norinaga: A Hermeneutical Journey
July 9, 2009 (2)

Tour debrief
July 2, 2009 (3)

Book tour events
May 18, 2009 (3)

Simply in the mood
April 24, 2009 (2)

Book tour
April 8, 2009 (6)

The Necessary Book
March 2, 2009 (2)

"Murder Makes the Magazine"
February 7, 2009 (3)

John Updike
January 27, 2009 (2)

2008 misc. (good news, bad news)
January 1, 2009 (3)

Publishing woes and query letters
December 13, 2008 (4)

Punctuation compunction
November 16, 2008 (3)

The Fountain of Youth (and other Ideas)
October 10, 2008 (2)

David Foster Wallace
September 14, 2008 (2)

Ending it all
September 12, 2008 (2)

The mystery of plotting, the plotting of mysteries
August 29, 2008 (3)

Blocking out the block
August 20, 2008 (3)

"What kind of books do you write?"
August 8, 2008 (2)

Theory of Satisfaction: Part 4
July 21, 2008 (3)

Show and tell
July 14, 2008 (3)

Theory of Satisfaction: Part 3
July 7, 2008 (7)

Advice for first-time writers (Barry Gifford and me)
June 30, 2008 (6)

Theory of Satisfaction: Part 2
June 18, 2008 (3)

To be or not to be
June 10, 2008 (6)

Theory of Satisfaction: Part 1
June 3, 2008 (6)

Virtual unreality
May 31, 2008 (4)

The purpose of this blog
May 21, 2008 (5)

Todd Shimoda's Writer's Blog home \| current \| forthcoming \| past \| contact
ENTRY To be or not to be June 10, 2008 I rarely obsess about grammer or style. I tend to write away, listening to the sound of the words and phrasing. Not that I write horridly ungrammatical and tangled sentences (not usually), my writing leans toward the simple and active. But lately as I write a first draft of a new novel, I think a lot about the necessity of using "to be" and its forms. For example, I wrote: "While Mutter snapped photos of the action, the forklift operator bent over and straightened up without effort. The prosaic, adept maneuver of a man in no pain." Usually, I write "It was the prosiac ..." Of course, using "It was" makes the construction a complete sentence rather than a phrase. But I doubt readers miss the "It was," their minds automatically fill in the reference back to the action performed. Or I could use a comma connecting the phrase to the sentence. But that construction changes the sound and the impact of the separate phrase. You've probably heard of E-Prime--the movement to eliminate using "to be" forms in writing. For example, the E-Prime writer changes "The food wasn't very good." to "I didn't like the food." The change makes the writing more active and eliminates ambiguity as to the agent of the action. I try to use E-Prime rules (introductory Wikipedia article), reducing "to be" instances as much as possible. For example, I wrote this blog entry in E-Prime. I find writing in E-Prime more difficult, but ultimately readers should find the writing more readable and enjoyable. I think therefore I, er, exist. # © 2013	COMMENTS Number of comments: 6 click here to add a comment Jean Hanson What a great post, Todd. I recently read The Shipping News--yes, for the first time! And was quite taken by Proulx's use of this phrase technique rather than "to be" sentencing. And---hi Todd! Writers in Fort Collins miss you--including this one, who thinks of you often but is lousy at staying in touch. Looking forward to your next book. Jean. Todd Thanks, Jean. I have to admit I haven't read Shipping News yet, although I did see the movie. That's pretty rare for me to do it in that order. But now I'll have to find a copy. And thanks for the personal note, too. I often think of you and the great friends and writers in Fort Collins, especially on Tuesday nights! Teresa Funke An, the Shipping News is one of my FAVORITE books and partly because I was amazed at her writing technique in that book and how she was able to do it consistently. You'll have to read it, Todd. Jo Reed OKay, sure, tight/active sentences, but this e-prime stuff is one big gimmick if you ask me. Nothing really wrong with "be" is there? Lee Witte I don't think it's a gimmick, and I think the point's well taken that we get sloppy with our work choice and sentence construction. PLus we're talking about $creative$ writing here. Artful writing. So be(!) at least a little more artful. Jo Reed You should say "So write a little more artfully."	ARCHIVE date (comments) Review: Paprika April 21, 2013 (3) Review: A Straight Road With 99 Curves March 30, 2013 (1) Gripping writing Feb. 28, 2013 (2) Review: Salvation of a Saint January 19, 2013 (2) 2012 in review December 30, 2012 (2) Review: Ninja September 30, 2012 (2) Review: My Postwar Life August 21, 2012 (1) New interview with Colin Marshall July 15, 2012 (3) Book events April 25, 2012 (2) Subduction March 14, 2012 (8) Review: A Room Where the Star Spangled Banner Cannot Be Heard January 14, 2012 (1) Review: Plainsong December 20, 2011 (3) Review: The Devil's Disciple November 29, 2011 (2) Haruki Murakami October 5, 2011 (2) Busyness and demons September 25, 2011 (2) Characters: The Bully July 30, 2011 (3) Review: Manazuru June 28, 2011 (2) Deadlines! June 24, 2011 (2) Review: Butterfly's Sisters May 18, 2011 (1) Review: Isle of Dreams April 20, 2011 (2) Cades Award for Literature press release April 12, 2011 (2) Japan and other news March 29, 2011 (1) Borders bankruptcy February 17, 2011 (2) 2010 review December 17, 2010 (6) Congratulations Mario Vargas Llosa October 7, 2010 (2) OH! wins best book award September 23, 2010 (2) Review: Kissing the Mask August 22, 2010 (1) Jonathan Lethem: Writing at the margins July 12, 2010 (2) Review: Love in Translation June 22, 2010 (3) Jose Saramago June 18, 2010 (0) Marketplace of Ideas interview June 11, 2010 (2) Imagining Memory May 6, 2010 (1) Upcoming Los Angeles events April 7, 2010 (2) Time and energy March 30, 2010 (2) Review: Botchan February 28, 2010 (2) J.D. Salinger January 28, 2010 (1) 2009 Reviewed December 31, 2009 (5) Review: The Word Book December 12, 2009 (1) Chaat and Chat event with OH! November 6, 2009 (2) Home at last November 2, 2009 (2) Los Angeles events October 17, 2009 (1) Poets and poetry October 7, 2009 (1) Time + place September 24, 2009 (1) The future of books September 23, 2009 (1) October book tour September 6, 2009 (1) Blogging at Powell's Books August 28, 2009 (2) The evolution of an idea August 3, 2009 (1) The Poetics of Motoori Norinaga: A Hermeneutical Journey July 9, 2009 (2) Tour debrief July 2, 2009 (3) Book tour events May 18, 2009 (3) Simply in the mood April 24, 2009 (2) Book tour April 8, 2009 (6) The Necessary Book March 2, 2009 (2) "Murder Makes the Magazine" February 7, 2009 (3) John Updike January 27, 2009 (2) 2008 misc. (good news, bad news) January 1, 2009 (3) Publishing woes and query letters December 13, 2008 (4) Punctuation compunction November 16, 2008 (3) The Fountain of Youth (and other Ideas) October 10, 2008 (2) David Foster Wallace September 14, 2008 (2) Ending it all September 12, 2008 (2) The mystery of plotting, the plotting of mysteries August 29, 2008 (3) Blocking out the block August 20, 2008 (3) "What kind of books do you write?" August 8, 2008 (2) Theory of Satisfaction: Part 4 July 21, 2008 (3) Show and tell July 14, 2008 (3) Theory of Satisfaction: Part 3 July 7, 2008 (7) Advice for first-time writers (Barry Gifford and me) June 30, 2008 (6) Theory of Satisfaction: Part 2 June 18, 2008 (3) To be or not to be June 10, 2008 (6) Theory of Satisfaction: Part 1 June 3, 2008 (6) Virtual unreality May 31, 2008 (4) The purpose of this blog May 21, 2008 (5)