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ENTRY

Publishing woes and query letters
December 13, 2008

Did you read the news that Houghton-Mifflin has allegedly stopped making any new book deals? Publishers are feeling the recession, laying off and freezing salaries. Yikes.

But we can?t let that get us down. We just have to be even better writers. We also have to be even better salespeople of our work, from the proposal to the book store. Re the proposal, a new writer asked me to critique three versions of a proposal for young-adult fantasy. Version #1 was very breezy trying to capture the tone of the book. #2 was a professional, standard proposal. #3 was more of a personal account of where the story came from. Here?s what I recommended:

When I send query letters I tend to be on the conservative side, so my letters are more like #2. I?d say most agents are conservative (?just the facts, please?) so many would be put off by the light-and-breezy style of #1. I would say forget about the personal-story approach of #3 as probably no one cares where the story idea came from.

Keep in mind I?m writing adult fiction/nonfiction rather than young-adult fantasy, so agents representing that genre may be looking for something more attention-grabbing. But I would say that by going with #1 you risk losing many agents with the first sentence, on the other hand you may have greater luck with an agent who likes the unique query style. I would look closely at the agents you send the query to and try to determine their style from any info you can find on them. You might be able to match their personality and requested query info with one or the other of your query letters.

As for the letter content, I recommend being more specific on the main narrative thrust of the story. Come up with a one- or two-sentence summary of what happens in the book. More than anything agents are looking to see if there is a strong story in the book. Also, you might give more information on your idea for a series, that seems to be a strong selling point. Lastly be sure to edit the letters closely, I think I noticed a couple of typos.

Whether fiction or non-fiction, the heart of the proposal must portray a strong story. It?s very difficult to encapsulate an entire book in a few words, but those few words are all you get to catch the attention of an agent or editor. Here are excerpts from two of my proposals, the first is (primarily) fiction, the second (primarily) non-fiction.

Oh! A mystery of ?mono no aware? is primarily literary fiction, a bit edgy, and with tightly integrated non-fiction and visual elements. The main storyline follows Zack Hara, a young Japanese American searching for an emotionally meaningful life while traveling in Japan. Zack finds an ally in a professor and underground poet who introduces him to the concept of ?mono no aware,? roughly translated as the emotive essence of things, most often thought of as the sadness in beauty. The professor, grieving for a missing daughter, assigns Zack a set of mysterious tasks. Zack?s search for self-discovery turns into a search for the professor?s missing daughter, and draws him into the tragic phenomenon of suicide clubs.

Bones in the Sand is about Ka?iulani Edens-Huff?s struggle to protect dozens of ancient Hawaiian burials at an idyllic beach from the construction of multimillion-dollar homes. Framed around the sixteen weeks she lived in the many centuries-old graveyard on the island of Kaua?i, fighting the land owner and state and local authorities, Edens-Huff weaves in her compelling personal history of a troubled past, the richness of Hawaiian culture, and broader social, political, and economic issues. Primarily a memoir, the story also tells a fictional but historically accurate account of one of the ancient Hawaiians buried in the cemetery. The driving narrative force is whether Edens-Huff can succeed in protecting the graveyard before she is driven off the land or arrested, while at the same time learning truths of her own buried identity.

#

© 2013

COMMENTS

Number of comments: 4
click here to add a comment

Lee Witte
Thanks, this is helpful. Err on the side of porfessionalism. I also add a personal note, e.g. if the agent has a blog and I've read it, i'll mention that.

Jo Reed
So, what happened with the queries this young-adult fantasy writer sent out?

Todd
She snagged a request to send in a partial manuscript.

Lee Witte
good for her!

ARCHIVE

date (comments)

Review: Paprika
April 21, 2013 (3)

Review: A Straight Road With 99 Curves
March 30, 2013 (1)

Gripping writing
Feb. 28, 2013 (2)

Review: Salvation of a Saint
January 19, 2013 (2)

2012 in review
December 30, 2012 (2)

Review: Ninja
September 30, 2012 (2)

Review: My Postwar Life
August 21, 2012 (1)

New interview with Colin Marshall
July 15, 2012 (3)

Book events
April 25, 2012 (2)

Subduction
March 14, 2012 (8)

Review: A Room Where the Star Spangled Banner Cannot Be Heard
January 14, 2012 (1)

Review: Plainsong
December 20, 2011 (3)

Review: The Devil's Disciple
November 29, 2011 (2)

Haruki Murakami
October 5, 2011 (2)

Busyness and demons
September 25, 2011 (2)

Characters: The Bully
July 30, 2011 (3)

Review: Manazuru
June 28, 2011 (2)

Deadlines!
June 24, 2011 (2)

Review: Butterfly's Sisters
May 18, 2011 (1)

Review: Isle of Dreams
April 20, 2011 (2)

Cades Award for Literature press release
April 12, 2011 (2)

Japan and other news
March 29, 2011 (1)

Borders bankruptcy
February 17, 2011 (2)

2010 review
December 17, 2010 (6)

Congratulations Mario Vargas Llosa
October 7, 2010 (2)

OH! wins best book award
September 23, 2010 (2)

Review: Kissing the Mask
August 22, 2010 (1)

Jonathan Lethem: Writing at the margins
July 12, 2010 (2)

Review: Love in Translation
June 22, 2010 (3)

Jose Saramago
June 18, 2010 (0)

Marketplace of Ideas interview
June 11, 2010 (2)

Imagining Memory
May 6, 2010 (1)

Upcoming Los Angeles events
April 7, 2010 (2)

Time and energy
March 30, 2010 (2)

Review: Botchan
February 28, 2010 (2)

J.D. Salinger
January 28, 2010 (1)

2009 Reviewed
December 31, 2009 (5)

Review: The Word Book
December 12, 2009 (1)

Chaat and Chat event with OH!
November 6, 2009 (2)

Home at last
November 2, 2009 (2)

Los Angeles events
October 17, 2009 (1)

Poets and poetry
October 7, 2009 (1)

Time + place
September 24, 2009 (1)

The future of books
September 23, 2009 (1)

October book tour
September 6, 2009 (1)

Blogging at Powell's Books
August 28, 2009 (2)

The evolution of an idea
August 3, 2009 (1)

The Poetics of Motoori Norinaga: A Hermeneutical Journey
July 9, 2009 (2)

Tour debrief
July 2, 2009 (3)

Book tour events
May 18, 2009 (3)

Simply in the mood
April 24, 2009 (2)

Book tour
April 8, 2009 (6)

The Necessary Book
March 2, 2009 (2)

"Murder Makes the Magazine"
February 7, 2009 (3)

John Updike
January 27, 2009 (2)

2008 misc. (good news, bad news)
January 1, 2009 (3)

Publishing woes and query letters
December 13, 2008 (4)

Punctuation compunction
November 16, 2008 (3)

The Fountain of Youth (and other Ideas)
October 10, 2008 (2)

David Foster Wallace
September 14, 2008 (2)

Ending it all
September 12, 2008 (2)

The mystery of plotting, the plotting of mysteries
August 29, 2008 (3)

Blocking out the block
August 20, 2008 (3)

"What kind of books do you write?"
August 8, 2008 (2)

Theory of Satisfaction: Part 4
July 21, 2008 (3)

Show and tell
July 14, 2008 (3)

Theory of Satisfaction: Part 3
July 7, 2008 (7)

Advice for first-time writers (Barry Gifford and me)
June 30, 2008 (6)

Theory of Satisfaction: Part 2
June 18, 2008 (3)

To be or not to be
June 10, 2008 (6)

Theory of Satisfaction: Part 1
June 3, 2008 (6)

Virtual unreality
May 31, 2008 (4)

The purpose of this blog
May 21, 2008 (5)

Todd Shimoda's Writer's Blog home \| current \| forthcoming \| past \| contact
ENTRY Publishing woes and query letters December 13, 2008 Did you read the news that Houghton-Mifflin has allegedly stopped making any new book deals? Publishers are feeling the recession, laying off and freezing salaries. Yikes. But we can?t let that get us down. We just have to be even better writers. We also have to be even better salespeople of our work, from the proposal to the book store. Re the proposal, a new writer asked me to critique three versions of a proposal for young-adult fantasy. Version #1 was very breezy trying to capture the tone of the book. #2 was a professional, standard proposal. #3 was more of a personal account of where the story came from. Here?s what I recommended: When I send query letters I tend to be on the conservative side, so my letters are more like #2. I?d say most agents are conservative (?just the facts, please?) so many would be put off by the light-and-breezy style of #1. I would say forget about the personal-story approach of #3 as probably no one cares where the story idea came from. Keep in mind I?m writing adult fiction/nonfiction rather than young-adult fantasy, so agents representing that genre may be looking for something more attention-grabbing. But I would say that by going with #1 you risk losing many agents with the first sentence, on the other hand you may have greater luck with an agent who likes the unique query style. I would look closely at the agents you send the query to and try to determine their style from any info you can find on them. You might be able to match their personality and requested query info with one or the other of your query letters. As for the letter content, I recommend being more specific on the main narrative thrust of the story. Come up with a one- or two-sentence summary of what happens in the book. More than anything agents are looking to see if there is a strong story in the book. Also, you might give more information on your idea for a series, that seems to be a strong selling point. Lastly be sure to edit the letters closely, I think I noticed a couple of typos. Whether fiction or non-fiction, the heart of the proposal must portray a strong story. It?s very difficult to encapsulate an entire book in a few words, but those few words are all you get to catch the attention of an agent or editor. Here are excerpts from two of my proposals, the first is (primarily) fiction, the second (primarily) non-fiction. Oh! A mystery of ?mono no aware? is primarily literary fiction, a bit edgy, and with tightly integrated non-fiction and visual elements. The main storyline follows Zack Hara, a young Japanese American searching for an emotionally meaningful life while traveling in Japan. Zack finds an ally in a professor and underground poet who introduces him to the concept of ?mono no aware,? roughly translated as the emotive essence of things, most often thought of as the sadness in beauty. The professor, grieving for a missing daughter, assigns Zack a set of mysterious tasks. Zack?s search for self-discovery turns into a search for the professor?s missing daughter, and draws him into the tragic phenomenon of suicide clubs. Bones in the Sand is about Ka?iulani Edens-Huff?s struggle to protect dozens of ancient Hawaiian burials at an idyllic beach from the construction of multimillion-dollar homes. Framed around the sixteen weeks she lived in the many centuries-old graveyard on the island of Kaua?i, fighting the land owner and state and local authorities, Edens-Huff weaves in her compelling personal history of a troubled past, the richness of Hawaiian culture, and broader social, political, and economic issues. Primarily a memoir, the story also tells a fictional but historically accurate account of one of the ancient Hawaiians buried in the cemetery. The driving narrative force is whether Edens-Huff can succeed in protecting the graveyard before she is driven off the land or arrested, while at the same time learning truths of her own buried identity. # © 2013	COMMENTS Number of comments: 4 click here to add a comment Lee Witte Thanks, this is helpful. Err on the side of porfessionalism. I also add a personal note, e.g. if the agent has a blog and I've read it, i'll mention that. Jo Reed So, what happened with the queries this young-adult fantasy writer sent out? Todd She snagged a request to send in a partial manuscript. Lee Witte good for her!	ARCHIVE date (comments) Review: Paprika April 21, 2013 (3) Review: A Straight Road With 99 Curves March 30, 2013 (1) Gripping writing Feb. 28, 2013 (2) Review: Salvation of a Saint January 19, 2013 (2) 2012 in review December 30, 2012 (2) Review: Ninja September 30, 2012 (2) Review: My Postwar Life August 21, 2012 (1) New interview with Colin Marshall July 15, 2012 (3) Book events April 25, 2012 (2) Subduction March 14, 2012 (8) Review: A Room Where the Star Spangled Banner Cannot Be Heard January 14, 2012 (1) Review: Plainsong December 20, 2011 (3) Review: The Devil's Disciple November 29, 2011 (2) Haruki Murakami October 5, 2011 (2) Busyness and demons September 25, 2011 (2) Characters: The Bully July 30, 2011 (3) Review: Manazuru June 28, 2011 (2) Deadlines! June 24, 2011 (2) Review: Butterfly's Sisters May 18, 2011 (1) Review: Isle of Dreams April 20, 2011 (2) Cades Award for Literature press release April 12, 2011 (2) Japan and other news March 29, 2011 (1) Borders bankruptcy February 17, 2011 (2) 2010 review December 17, 2010 (6) Congratulations Mario Vargas Llosa October 7, 2010 (2) OH! wins best book award September 23, 2010 (2) Review: Kissing the Mask August 22, 2010 (1) Jonathan Lethem: Writing at the margins July 12, 2010 (2) Review: Love in Translation June 22, 2010 (3) Jose Saramago June 18, 2010 (0) Marketplace of Ideas interview June 11, 2010 (2) Imagining Memory May 6, 2010 (1) Upcoming Los Angeles events April 7, 2010 (2) Time and energy March 30, 2010 (2) Review: Botchan February 28, 2010 (2) J.D. Salinger January 28, 2010 (1) 2009 Reviewed December 31, 2009 (5) Review: The Word Book December 12, 2009 (1) Chaat and Chat event with OH! November 6, 2009 (2) Home at last November 2, 2009 (2) Los Angeles events October 17, 2009 (1) Poets and poetry October 7, 2009 (1) Time + place September 24, 2009 (1) The future of books September 23, 2009 (1) October book tour September 6, 2009 (1) Blogging at Powell's Books August 28, 2009 (2) The evolution of an idea August 3, 2009 (1) The Poetics of Motoori Norinaga: A Hermeneutical Journey July 9, 2009 (2) Tour debrief July 2, 2009 (3) Book tour events May 18, 2009 (3) Simply in the mood April 24, 2009 (2) Book tour April 8, 2009 (6) The Necessary Book March 2, 2009 (2) "Murder Makes the Magazine" February 7, 2009 (3) John Updike January 27, 2009 (2) 2008 misc. (good news, bad news) January 1, 2009 (3) Publishing woes and query letters December 13, 2008 (4) Punctuation compunction November 16, 2008 (3) The Fountain of Youth (and other Ideas) October 10, 2008 (2) David Foster Wallace September 14, 2008 (2) Ending it all September 12, 2008 (2) The mystery of plotting, the plotting of mysteries August 29, 2008 (3) Blocking out the block August 20, 2008 (3) "What kind of books do you write?" August 8, 2008 (2) Theory of Satisfaction: Part 4 July 21, 2008 (3) Show and tell July 14, 2008 (3) Theory of Satisfaction: Part 3 July 7, 2008 (7) Advice for first-time writers (Barry Gifford and me) June 30, 2008 (6) Theory of Satisfaction: Part 2 June 18, 2008 (3) To be or not to be June 10, 2008 (6) Theory of Satisfaction: Part 1 June 3, 2008 (6) Virtual unreality May 31, 2008 (4) The purpose of this blog May 21, 2008 (5)